{"id":3813,"date":"2018-01-26T20:22:05","date_gmt":"2018-01-26T20:22:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vinnyroc-com.jv562z9r-liquidwebsites.com\/?p=3813"},"modified":"2023-11-07T19:51:57","modified_gmt":"2023-11-07T19:51:57","slug":"being-a-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/2018\/01\/26\/being-a-dad\/","title":{"rendered":"Being a Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"

As I type this, I can\u2019t help but have an overwhelming sense of regret \u2013 and that shitty feeling acts as endless fuel and motivation for me every single day. <\/span><\/p>\n

For many years I was a father, but I wasn\u2019t really a dad<\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until I gained custodial custody of my four children about five years ago that I realized I didn\u2019t know my kids. More importantly, they didn\u2019t know me. <\/span><\/p>\n

I had that epiphany when I was a member of the border patrol. I knew I was playing the part of a father through my preconceived notions of providing them with food and shelter, but it felt empty. I\u2019d leave the house and head to work before my kids got up and wouldn\u2019t come home until they were asleep. <\/span><\/p>\n

However, I remember one day where I randomly felt a commanding desire to have a deeper relationship with my kids. Something \u2026 more. It\u2019s hard to articulate the love a father has for his kids; it\u2019s on another level or realm of existence. I realized I had that belief on the inside but wasn\u2019t expressing it to them in the way they deserved. <\/span><\/p>\n

More than anything, being a dad means you have to be relevant in your kids\u2019 lives. Be. Fucking. There. Show up in a genuine manner. Hug them. Kiss them. Really, truly love <\/i>them. <\/span><\/p>\n

Over the years, I\u2019ve learned that as a dad, it\u2019s imperative you customize your approach to each child. <\/span><\/p>\n

Better said, teach <\/i>them the same but coach <\/i>them differently. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s kind of like baseball. There are so many home run hitters in today\u2019s game, but they all have different swings. The result is the same but the process to how they get there varies greatly \u2013 and there\u2019s nothing wrong with that! My goal as a dad is to create an environment where they feel comfortable growing and excelling in whatever they choose to. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s so much fucking easier said than done. Trust me; I get it. And having both girls and boys adds another dimension to the puzzle.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was growing up, my father raised us with little emotion. Stone cold. Disciplined. There wasn\u2019t much affection shown, but we always could count on him. I\u2019m very appreciative of how my father raised us; it was just a different time and society has changed and evolved. <\/span><\/p>\n

I look at my boys, and I see how important it is for me to show them affection and love. I want them to know it\u2019s okay to cry. To always, ALWAYS respect women. To be kind.\u00a0 <\/span>Just be fucking real! <\/span><\/p>\n

One of my boys has always had such a kind, loving and sensitive soul. He\u2019s always been that way. He doesn\u2019t like to fight and doesn\u2019t have any desire to be \u201cmacho.\u201d In fact, he\u2019s bullied at school and kids have called him gay. They see his sensitivity as a threat instead of the beautiful gift it really is.<\/span><\/p>\n

Is he gay? I don\u2019t think so. And I really don\u2019t give a shit. I will love and protect him with my life, unequivocally, no matter what.<\/span><\/p>\n

At the same time, I want my boys to know the world is not a nice place. They\u2019ve taken jujitsu, wrestling and understand how to defend themselves if they need to. I can\u2019t always be there to protect them.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the reason why all my girls are in wrestling. I believe in empowerment and want them to know that despite how it seems, this isn\u2019t a male dominated world. I don\u2019t want them to assume that because they are women, they can\u2019t do an infinitely better job than men. I don\u2019t want them growing up thinking they have to depend on a man to be successful. Whatever field they choose to go in, I want them to have the confidence they can be the absolute best.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the end, all I really want for my kids is happiness; and I\u2019ll do anything to make sure they have it. I know it sounds so damn clich\u00e9, but I believe that with all my heart and soul. <\/span><\/p>\n

I want them to do no harm, but take no shit. I want them to be proud of themselves. I want them to be strong AND kind. I want them to respect themselves and other people. I want them to do what they feel is right, not what others define as socially acceptable or right. I want them to know how much I love them, and that I\u2019d give up my life in a second for them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just be you \u2013 100%, unapologetically you.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Dad\u2019s always got your back.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I type this, I can\u2019t help but have an overwhelming sense of regret \u2013 and that shitty feeling acts as endless fuel and motivation for me every single day. For many years I was a father, but I wasn\u2019t really a dad. It wasn\u2019t until I gained custodial custody of my four children about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3814,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/image-44-1-scaled.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3813","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3813"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3813\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4863,"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3813\/revisions\/4863"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3814"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3813"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3813"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vincentroccovargas.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}