Note to Self

Note to Self:

First of all I know you are already not listening, Pops has been trying to get through to you but we both know that doesn’t work…

I can’t give you the answers but I will give you something’s to live by…

For the most part you were a good kid… crazy, hyper and a bit strange. Smiley is what a lot of people called you… remember?

What happens? Well you let the world tell you different. You believed people when they said you weren’t enough.

You lived to please others and forgot about yourself… thinking of it you sometimes still do.

Don’t be what they want you to be… don’t conform to the people around you…

You can achieve amazing things once you realize you have it in you.

Baseball will be your first heart break… and second and third…

Don’t worry, you didn’t waste your life living an impossible dream… you actually took the best of what baseball had to offer…

You are a fighter mentally and physically… Use it to protect the world around you. Trust me, this will be important.

You can’t read well now… lol I know… it’s painful… but would you believe that one day you will be a published writer…?

The Military will be the only direction for you one day… its going to be a good fit…

Airborne will be scary, just think about your daughter… it’s worth it…

RIP will be tough… but focus on the written test… you will pass the second time. (They don’t know you can’t read well)

Tell Devin how much he means to you… you won’t get to say it ever again…

Your first deployment You will be scared to go to War… it’s ok, everyone acts tough, they all feel that way in some fashion. “Fake it till you make it”

Hint: the first room you clear in your career… will have a camel in it… don’t shoot (you won’t because you never took the rifle off safety when you pull the trigger)

Second tour will be wild… You perform well…

Back home:
After PT against the Tabbed guys… Tell Rick and Dale how important they have been to you… This will be the last time you see them… make it count PLEASE….

Ranger school, You know the reason why you are doing it… make sure you thank Smallwood and Baig… they help you more then you know…

Last deployment goes somewhat smooth…
Mat Best will tap you out with an armbar… and never let you forget it… (don’t worry you get him back years later)

Exiting Military Entering Civilian world.

Corrections will be a good thing…
Segregation DD room 107… You will have to FIGHT! Don’t enter that room until you are ready

Divorce- You gain self esteem and self respect… You have now found yourself again…

Friendships will be tested… some lost… (keep your circle small)

Border Patrol career:

You learn from some of the greats…
remember the name Smilo… He helps you and you help him.

Ernie gives you one quote that you from that day forth begin to live by… “be the arrow”

When you get custody of the kids… Your fitness gets pushed aside… your life truly begins…

San Antonio is big but she is there… spend more time at HEB, open up a Bank Of America account… she’s there… you will understand… once you see her… you will know… once she sees you… she will know…

It’s ok… you will get another chance…

SOG will be a good move… but life outside of work becomes difficult… focus and be great at your job!

You will come to a moment where you can stay and be apart of an iconic moment in BORTAC and BORSTAR History… or you can go home to your daughters 10th birthday… this decision will eat you alive… but ITS worth it… she deserves Dad to be around more… they all do…

Now, now, now…. There she is…. Tell her… let her know….

Don’t move too fast…. actually fuck what everyone says…. move as fast as you want!

You lucky dog… you married THE Right One…

Life will have many more hurtles enjoy the ride… think outside the box, challenge yourself more… question everything… bath bombs aren’t manly they say…. but she loves them… (and you kind of do too)

The kids need to hear you love them more and hug them longer (20 seconds is long but great, just don’t count out loud you will freak people out)

Just enjoy the life you have worked so hard to have… there isn’t a moment where you feel like you “made it” but trust me. Look around… look at everything around you and what hard work created… life… is…. good….